What's Done is Done
by Priestess of broken saints
Summary: Things are a little bit tense in Hogwarts after the war. Everyone is trying to piece their lives back together and resolve their issues. Hermione is aiming to get Professor Snape in jail. Ron is out finding himself. Draco has issues off his own, concerning Luna Lovegood and what's this about a squib teacher? Rate M for nudity and mild language. Normal disclaimers apply.
1. Chapter 1 The Marvelous Miss Granger

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything relating to the Harry potter. I just like making up little stories with magical people in them.**

**A.N. Hello all, I really enjoyed writing Death Row Darling so I've decided to try my hand at something similar, but different. This is a post war, almost immediately post war, with some changes as you'll see. Just so you know bold is the past being remembered.**

Chapter 1: The Marvelous Miss Granger

"_It's fear of the unknown. The unknown is what it is. And to be frightened of it is what sends everybody scurrying around chasing dreams, illusions, wars, peace, love, hate, all that-it's all illusion. Unknown is what it is. Accept that it's unknown and its plain sailing. Everything is unknown-then you're ahead of the game. That's what it is. Right?" _

_~JOHN LENNON_

So this is it. The war is over. The newspapers were overflowing with, well, news. The minister of magic didn't know whose story to follow first or where to begin. For Hermione this was both thrilling and awfully dull at the same time. It wasn't long before she rushed off to disillusion her parents. She left before the aftermath had really hit. So now the newspapers were her only real connection to the wizarding world, it was frustrating but she understood that her friends were obviously too busy to owl her. Honestly she felt a bit guilty for not being there to help with the trials. Her mother had scolded her when she found out that Hermione had skipped the funerals. She just couldn't bear it, the reminders. She needed time and space for all the emotions to settle… for the war in her heart to end. All the publicity, which Ron loved, didn't help. In some ways that was what she was really running from, everyone. Even Ron. She hadn't spoken to him, or anyone since. She guessed that she'd see them in school when the term started. A lot of students had ended up missing their seventh year due to the war, but they'd have to make it up now. From what she'd read the Malfoy's had been pardoned due to their change in alliance which had helped turn the tide of the war. Draco would be in the 7th year with them all, including those who had been locked up at Malfoy Manner. That would be interesting, after all there's no such thing as a dull year at Hogwarts. McGonagall was the new headmistress due to Severus Snape's near fatal experience, to have come so close to death and at the young age of 38. She shook her head at that, but what surprised her more was that all charges against him were dropped. It made her angry. The memory flower created in what were almost his last moments had somehow exonerated him, but memories could be faked. She wasn't convinced of his innocence. According to the latest news he would be resuming his teaching post as defense against the dark arts teacher, at least while McGonagall search for a replacement and while Slughorn was willing to teach potions. Hermione had thought it a very strange change in sentiment, Snape had always been after the DADA job so why was he willing to just fill in for a while. She watched the magic photo of Professor Severus Snape as he silently spoke. He looked as surly as ever, but she thought he looked more worn. "Good", she said thinking he deserved it. Anger swelled in her as she thought of everything he had done. No excuse could be good enough and he shouldn't be allowed back in the school. All this news just raised more questions. Well she would get answers when she was back at Hogwarts and if the answers weren't pleasing, if that greasy git somehow managed to pull strings, or got Malfoy to pull strings…. Well, she'd find a way to uphold the law.

A gentle hand squeezed her shoulder, "A penny for your thoughts?" Hermione's mother asked.

"I was just gathering myself." Hermione said, smiling up at her mother, who had her warm yet worried brown eyes trained onto her daughters. Mrs. Granger's eyes had held that worried expression a lot lately. Sometimes she had trouble remembering things about Hermione, and sometimes she thought that she might be remembering things that never happened. She always felt a little sad when she looked at her little girl all grown up. Well some people may not think of 19 as all grown up, she refused to count the time added by the time turner which added almost a whole year to Hermione's life. No she couldn't think of her little girl as 20 not with her birthday coming up so soon, no she'd only be 20 on the 19 September 1999 not 21. Time turner time didn't count.

"Mom, stop it." Hermione scolded and moved to stand next to her mother; she held the little woman's shoulders and bent to look into her big brown eyes which were rapidly starting to gather tears.

"I'm sorry Love, it's just so difficult…" Hermione hugged her mother, as a tang of guilt gripped her. Her father had at least had an easier time distinguishing the truth from the memories she had created to keep her parents safe.

"Let's go get dinner ready." Hermione said and together they walked down stairs. She heard children's laughter in the garden. She caught sight of Hypatia her adopted sister, playing ring a ring a rosy with some Australian children. The first time she set eyes on the little blonde child she almost left.

**The anxiety was too much. She felt as though she'd faint. She rang the doorbell and waited with baited breath. A short lady with curly brown, but greying hair and deep brown eyes answered, "How can I help you dear?" she'd asked not recognizing her own daughter. Hermione's heart was racing, her brain saying 'that's fine, it's fine. She's not meant to know me.' "May I come in?" Hermione asked, not saying why. Luckily her mother let her in and offered her a seat in the lounge. Hermione sat in the brown couch which reminded her of the waiting rooms her parents had owned in London. She almost smiled at the irony since she felt like she was in a waiting room. In a way she was, she was waiting for the penny to drop. Waiting for the courage to find out what direction her life was going to take. "Tea" Her mother offered and Hermione accepted. That's when the girl entered. She must have been about 8 but she looked skeptically at Hermione, her green eyes as weary as a cat's. Hermione immediately knew. She didn't have to ask, or be told, although her mother re-entered with the tea tray and quickly said, "Hypatia, this is …" **

"**Hermione" Hermione supplied. Her heart had sunk. Hypatia was the type of name her parents would choose. She was about to excuse herself from their life when her father walked in. he frowned at her for a moment and said "Hermione?" In a questioning voice. He obviously recognized her but didn't quite remember her. That's when she knew she had to dissolution them. **

She smiled at her new sister, re-thinking how lucky she was that that day had gone so well. At first Hypatia had cried, terrified by the thought of losing her new family but when her new magical older sister and her rather confused mother reassured her that she would always be part of the family, well the crying stopped… it wasn't exactly good, or fine or even okay. Not for a while. She'd had to rebuild the trust she'd shared with her parents and forge a completely new relationship with her new sister. But as she shared a moment with the little blonde child who's green eyes were so compelling she felt relieved. Hypatia turned back to her friends. Their mother saw the look the girls shared and said, "I'm not sorry, Hermione. I'm glad. I love you dearly you know, but when you did that memory spell thing to us, I felt like something was missing and now I love Hypatia; Just as much as I love you."

"I know. I'm glad you have her now." Hermione said a little awkwardly, "Especially since I'm going back to Hogwarts and you are staying here."

"You promise that you'll write?"

Hermione nodded, "I'll owl you at least once a month. I doubt that there will be much to say now that the war is over."

"Oh sweet heart, there will always be a lot happening and a lot to say. That's life you know."

Hermione smiled. Her mother had never been so philosophical before, but she enjoyed it. Her father on the other hand seemed to hold a bit of a grudge against her now. He didn't speak to her as often and he didn't trust her with magic. He seemed to remember their true past more clearly than her mother but it seemed to make him less understanding of the actions she took to protect them. Things would never be the same now, but what's done is done.

* * *

**A.N. I hope you all like that. I don't have a beta reader so I have to re-read the chapter twice before I post them. Plus I'm Dyslexic so I'm really sorry I won't catch all my mistakes. I'm hoping to post a chapter twice a week, since they are only 3-5 pages each. I am going to try for longer, but when I ended it just seemed right.**

**Please Pretty Please leave a review, you can be critical but try remember I have feelings. Very, very Tender feelings. **


	2. Chapter 2 The Menacing Malfoy's

**Disclaimer: Many thanks to J. for letting me play with her characters. I own nothing.**

**A.N. You'll see some minor plot changes here, it's nothing major. Oh and I'm South African which is why I spell colour with a u. I hope that's not to disturbing for any of you. I'm trying to keep the characters in character for this fanfic, but I think it's easier to do that when they aren't alone.**

**P.S. I have no idea if Severus is Draco's godfather, but I like the idea. Also, I've used a bit of movie over book happenings in this one. Hope you don't mind :)**

Chapter 2: The Menacing Malfoy's

"_War ... it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents."_

_~ JOSEPH HELLER, Catch-22_

Draco walked in the garden. For a long time it had been his sanctuary. He couldn't stand being in the house these days, despite the fact that his mother was basically tearing the place apart. She was trying to rid Malfoy Manor of its taint. Personally Draco didn't think that anything would erase the memories. A new dining room table just wouldn't cut it. He took a seat on a bench in the garden and watched a little house elf cut some flowers and scurry off to the house with them. He leaned back and stretched his legs out in front of him in a very unMalfoy way, but that was fine because no one was around to see. The trials took the mickey out of him, all the stress and worrying about whether or not his dad would be sent to Azkaban or not. He got off lightly with community service. Those were difficult days of waiting though. He spent most of his time in saint Mungos with his godfather, Severus Snape. That hadn't been a relaxing experience either.

**The wards smelt like sweat and medicine. Draco looked down at his mother, all prim and proper. She was determined that they should show Severus their support, but he could tell she was also having trouble not showing her discomfort. Finally they reached his room in the high security unit. It was magically warded against magic which was why Draco felt sick to his stomach when he saw his godfather handcuffed to the bed. He was sickly pale, much more so than usual, his hair looked straggly and damp from fever sweat and his eyes looked both dull and tormented. "Oh Severus" Narcissa moaned and quickly knelt by his side. Draco hung back as his Teacher swallowed and licked his dry lips in preparation to speak, but Narcissa continued, "Don't worry Severus, it's only until they verify your memory." **

**Severus froze, "what?" He asked evidently unaware of how close to death he had come, No Severus remembered if he tried, but he could never be sure of those memories. The fever had toyed with his mind too much. He vaguely remembered taking the anti-venom or was it forced upon him? Narcissa patted his hand in what she meant to be reassuring but really it came across as dismissive. Draco walked over to help his mother; he didn't like how displeased Snape looked. **

**"They aren't going to publicly display your memories the only people who'll see it are those judging you and only after they've verified them. Plus you'll have a chance to speak at you're trial, defend any actions you feel the need to defend..." Draco stopped short, his godfathers coal coloured eyes where burning holes in his mind demanding who knew, he didn't have to use Legilimens to get the answers. Draco swallowed, "when we found you… We didn't mean too..."**

**"Who?" Snape asked in a quiet and deadly tone. **

**Draco closed his eyes and said, "Just me, McGonagall and Harry Potter." Snape went pale, if it was even possible that the man could get any paler.**

Draco didn't think that he would ever forget the look in Severus's eye. It was both misery and fury if such a thing was possible. Just then he heard a crash from the direction of the manor. Draco ran towards the building shouting, "Mother! Mother!" a million possibilities, horrible fates assaulted his mother in his mind. He imagined that the sky was clouding over with dark storm clouds. That Death Eaters were riding the winds of revenge determined to make them suffer a thousand terrible deaths for betraying their Dark Lord. He heard the Screaming. His mother screaming, he raced through the halls his heart beating so fast he wasn't sure that his ribs could contain it. His eyes were wide with fear as he skidded to a halt before the collapsed wall. He doubled over, leaning on his knees as he caught his breath, mentally preparing himself for battle.

Then he heard his fathers raised voice, "This is madness Narcissa" Although Lucius used a tone which had terrified Draco when he had been an innocent boy, Draco felt relieved. His mother was safe.

"Nonsense Lucius." Narcissa replied, "We are Wizards, and _everyone_ knows that pure bloods live longer than Muggles" her voice was dripping with venom, "Isn't that right Lucius?"

Draco wanted to move away, but he was a Slytherin and had a deep desire to know what was going on. It must be a big fight if she was bringing up the blood supremacies theories. It always had a very cooling, even freezing, effect on Lucius these days. Whether he believed it or not, Draco didn't know, but he knew that his mother had often thrown it in his face as the reason they had been involved in the wizarding wars. She also had this way of implying things that would turn the wisest heads in confusion. Somehow she'd trained them to believe that the simple pride they had once had in their pure blood status had been the major factor in what had almost been their downfall. Draco found it easiest not to get involved.

"Cissy, my sweet. All I'm saying is that we should give this more thought." Lucius said after at least a minute of staring at his wife.

"Really?" Narcissa asked in a mockingly sweet tone, "Because I swear I heard you say "This is madness""

"You caught me off guard. You know that bringing down a perfectly decent wall isn't the best way to start a conversation."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Narcissa sounded a little amused now, "were you awfully fond of that wall?"

"You know it was my favourite" Lucius said his voice going low and seductive.

Draco decided that he'd either have to leave quickly or announce his presents. Leaving seemed to be the healthier option, after all curiosity wasn't directly responsible for killing the cat. He slipped down to the Drawing room, and then to the secret room beneath. It was the cellar where they had kept Luna, Mr. Ollivander, Dean and Griphook. It didn't frighten him. It wasn't such a bad place really. So there were no windows, he cast a magic light and sat in one of his father's arm chairs, most of the dark artifices that used to reside in the room before it had been used for prisoners were back. Except for the really bad ones that his mother had refused to keep in the house anymore. She was determined that they would be respectable again. Restore the good name of Malfoy. Draco still liked this room though. He had hidden down there with the prisoners, but admittedly he was on the other side of the bars. The first time was the worst. He couldn't leave for fear of the Death eaters and the prisoners were not very friendly. They couldn't help but appreciate the extra light and occasionally food. He didn't have much for himself but he couldn't ignore the way Dean and Ollivander eyed them. Luna simply asked. Just out right said what they were all thinking. Draco closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. How could he compete with that?

"**We're hungry" Luna stated in that way she had. Her cute pinched voice seemed to stab through Draco's defences. He slipped the plate under the barred doors and watched as the prisoners approached like frightened rabbits unsure if they were walking into a trap.**

"**The sausage is poisoned" Draco said as dean picked one up. **

**Dean dropped it back on the plate and Draco sniggered. "Idiot" he thought, "didn't the oaf see that I already ate one of the sausages?" Luna seemed to have noticed because she shared the remaining sausages between herself and Ollivander. Draco watched the girl in ragged garishly coloured clothes, which in his opinion made her seem ghostly pale especially with the white blonde hair hanging in knotted dirty curls. Draco hadn't noticed how close he was to the bar's and he hadn't noticed how close Dean was. Dean quickly got his arm through the bars and had Draco pinned by the neck between his arm and the bars. Draco grabbed at the arm which was quickly suffocating him. He couldn't think, he put his hand on his wand and chucked it away from the prisoners reach, after all he couldn't aim blindly and the few wordless spells he knew all dealt with escaping bonds. In all the action he hadn't heard the commotion that the other prisoners had been making. Luckily the wards would keep the Death Eaters upstairs from noticing as well, however he was very aware of the racket they were making when he woke up. Slumped with his back against the bars. Ollivander was telling Dean off for his stupidity. Luna was by the bars, her little hand checking for Draco's pulse. **

"**The Wrackspurts should go soon enough. Well most of them" Luna said in what some might construe as a reassuring tone. Maybe she meant to help create ease, but the matter of fact way she said things just puzzled Draco. **

"**Wrackspurts?" Draco asked, his head was aching and he didn't know why he was talking to the crazy witch.**

"**They're how I found Harry in our, was it our fifth or sixth year?" she tilted her head back as she mused.**

"**I don't see anything." He said sitting up a bit and rubbing his forehead.**

"**They're invisible unless you are wearing Spectrespecs."**

**Draco frowned not wanting to continue the pointless conversation. **

How crazy was the girl? Draco wandered. He briefly tried to imagine her in black. She would look stunning in something sleek and black, the contrast would be unbelievable. But then she'd open her mouth and say something ridiculous, wouldn't she? He sighed and stood up, time to go make sure the house was still in one piece. He walked up the stairs and noticed all the torn purple wallpaper in the drawing room the table was gone, taken away long ago, and the portraits were all grumbling in a corner. They didn't appreciate being stacked up like Muggle paintings.

"Mom?" Draco asked as he walked through to the next room. He used her voice to locate her, "What are you planning to do with the Drawing room?"

"Why I was thinking of turning it into a baby's room but your father says it'll never work."

"Baby's room?" Draco asked not sure if he'd heard right.

"Yes Darling. Does that bother you? You wouldn't mind having a little sister or brother?"

Draco wanted to ask if she wasn't a bit old for children but wisely he refrained himself, "Can't you just wait for "Draco shuddered, "Grandchildren?"

"Nonsense," She said dismissively, "A new baby is just what we need to liven this place up."

"A puppy would do the same job admirably."

"Plus, "Narcissa continued ignoring his previous statement, "It'll be a good way to bring the family back together. We need to give society a new reason to see passed our mistakes."

"You are already pregnant aren't you?" Draco asked stoically.

His mother beamed at him, "I'm hoping for a girl."

**A.N. I hope that was good and that the characters weren't too ooc. There's a baby just for you worrywart :) Actually I thought it was be good for Teddy lupin to have someone his own age to play with since in this story not everyone is marrying young and popping them out. Weasley's are next.**


	3. Chapter 3 The Wacky Wesley's

_**A.N Hi all, I just want to say thanks to Worrywart for researching the baby's names. I'm sorry to say that I've been delayed a bit before my father needed my laptop. Also I'm starting to study a new course on Monday. I don't think it'll through me off schedule but I can't be sure yet.**_

Chapter 3: The Wacky Wesley's

"_That's the nature of women, not to love when we love them, and to love when we love them not."  
Miguel de Cervantes_

Ginny stood looking out of her bedroom window. Her long red hair cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. Absent mindedly she stroked a lock of her hair as she watch her father cross the front lawn to his car. Despite Molly's objections he insisted on visiting Professor Snape every day. "GinnnY!" Molly called from downstairs. Ginny sighed; being the only girl in the upturned house was not easy. She was expected to help look after baby Ted Remus Lupin, in a way it made sense, after all Harry was the toddlers Godfather and she was "Harry Potters Girl". She sighed and made her way downstairs.

"What is it?" She asked her mother, only just managing to contain her exasperation. After all she had only just turned 18 and what 18 year old in their right mind wants' an 18 month old. Secretly she thought that was why Harry was spending so much time at grim old place. He claimed to be baby proofing and redecorating, but she didn't see why he couldn't just pay someone to do it.

"Something's wrong with teddy" Her worried mother said all wide eyes and alarm.

Suddenly Ginny's feeling changed and she rushed over to the little boy, praying that her little boy would be fine. "What is it, ma, what is it?" She asked her eyes frantically searching the boy for signs of illness or for growing fur or fangs.

"Look at his eyes, Ginny" Molly said suddenly relaxing and smiling at her little girl.

Ginny looked at his eyes, but there was no redness, no bulging and no pus. They were just clear green eyes. Wait, green? No his eyes had been brown like his fathers. "Is this one of F- Georges Tricks?" Ginny asked.

Molly shook her head and Ginny nodded. "So he really is a Metamorphmagus." They only doubted it because the little boy's appearance had been stable up until now, beside what Lupin had told them of his constantly changing hair colour when he was a new born. Maybe the death of his parents, but no he couldn't have comprehended that. Could he have? It is said that emotions affect the Metamorphmagus abilities. Tonks couldn't use her abilities for a while after Sirius died… but to think that the infant had been so effect by the death of his parents and the change in scene. Then again the Weasley residence had been full of sorrow and tension. Maybe babies could pick out the emotions after all. Ginny picked up the child and cradled him in her arms, which she rocked slowly.

"His eyes look like Harry's now." Ginny said. Her heart felt sore at those words because she believed that this must be a sign that the little boy was now starting to see Harry as his father. He'd never truly know his real parents. Just as she said it Teddy's dark hair turned red like hers. It was strange to watch like a ripple of colour that started at the roots of his hair. Seeing him with the Weasley red hair sent shivers down her spine. Molly sniffed loudly and put a warm hand on her daughters back.

"If only Harry was here to see this" Molly said affectionately.

Harry was with a nearly inconsolable George Weasley. They walked in silence. Really they had exhausted the only real thing they had to say to each other a short "Are you sure?" on Harry's half and the rest would have been small talk. Small talk was unbearable because George's theatrical nature had turned from hilariously witty to morbidly melodramatic. Harry put a reassuring hand on George's shoulder reassuringly as they approached Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes

"Angelina Johnson has been running it for you." Harry informed George who already knew.

It was the first time that George had set foot in his shop since Fred's death. There was Angelina, as beautiful as ever, her magenta robes looked lovely against her dark skin. Why did she have to smile like that? George frowned and took a deep steadying breath. Why was it so hard? All he had to do was say, "Head's up you're unemployed." She'd soon get the picture. He couldn't run Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes without Fred. After all Everyone remembered Fred, not George. There was no more Gred and Feorge. How could anyone understand that?

"Hey Angie?" George said taking her by the elbow. She didn't object she could hear the "We need to talk" in his voice and secretly she was glad to see him. She had been so worried about him, because no matter how casually Fred asked her to the Yule ball, she really liked the brothers. And George was funny, witty, smart, innovative, loyal, and successful. Not to mention that he was cute.

"How is everything George?" She said gently as soon as they were alone in the office together. George smiled tentatively, then when it didn't make him happy he dropped the smile.

"Listen Angie"

She bit her bottom lip and let her eyes take in a concerned expression.

"There's no easy way for me to say this, so Ang. I'm selling Weasleys' Wizard wheezes."

"what?" she asked.

George sighed, "I can't do this, I'm selling Weasleys' Wizard wheezes."

"Oh I heard you." Angelina said using her more indignant voice, "I just can't believe you. This is your dream!"

"No this is Gred and Feorges dream!" He shouted, "And no-one gets it, no-one understands"

"I get it George, and swopping the first letters of your names isn't making your point or making this easier on yourself. So it's just you now, I don't think that Fred would have wanted you to give up your dream just because he can't be here with you." Angelina fumed at him.

But he sniffed and wiped his eyes, "Maybe you are right, but I can't do this."

"Oh George" She said and pulled him into a hug, which he resisted for a full second, "I'm here for you, Harry is here for you and I bet that the rest of your family is as well."

George shook his head in her hair, "I don't think they can stand the sight of me. I just remind them of him."

"Oh George" She rubbed reassuring circles on his back between his shoulder blades, "That's ridiculous. I bet the most pain that they feel is for you not because of you. War does that to people, almost everyone has experienced loss."

"Have you Ang?"

"Everyone has in one way or another." She said sagely.

Ronald Weasley certainly had, but it had affected him quite differently. He dealt with the loss of friends, ex-girlfriends and loved ones in a very different way. He found himself accepting the invites that were sent out to the golden trio, even when Harry didn't. The lime light suited him. He'd always wanted to be famous and the coloured lights and fancy drinks just seemed to make things sweeter. It didn't matter that he couldn't hear his new 'friends' over the music. It didn't really matter that his old friends weren't there. After all with all they'd been through together nothing could take that away right? As for Hermione, he had missed her at first. He still thought of her every now and then, but honestly why did she have to go running off to Australia? She could at least have accepted his letters. Really the state his poor owls had been in when they returned and they still had his untouched notes. At first Ron thought she was upset with him, because she always was after all. Eventually after talking to Harry and Ginny who's letters were also not being successfully delivered they figured that she hadn't taken all the wards off of her parents' house. He soon found it easy to admire the girls expensive dresses and soon after their fine figures. Money wasn't as tight as it had been either, a few of the magical magazines and some advertisers were paying him well for his picture and his story, since Harry only answered the public's questions with a simple statement. Ron had gone on to tell every one of all the amazing coincidences, well at least the ones he knew of. Somehow he had become the figure head of the golden trio. He didn't mind exaggerating a few details that only affected him while the pretty blond in the red dress who was sitting next to him, smiled enticingly. She flirted and insinuated such incredible things…

**A.N. I hope you enjoyed that. The quote was mainly for Ron. Read and review. It makes me happy. Also how do I go about finding a Beta reader? I'm short on time these days. **

**P.S. Did anyone remember the Gred and Feorge Christmas jumper reference? Here it is anyway: "You haven't got a letter on yours. I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid — we know we're called Gred and Forge."**


	4. Chapter 4 Secretive Severus Snape

**A.N: Sorry this is taking longer than usual. I'm studying again and it's taking up a lot of my time and my dad still has my laptop, I'm writing this on my tablet which is difficult. Plus this chapter was tricky. I really want to keep Severus in Character but that isn't easy. Let me know if I succeeded. **

**For those of you who aren't familiar with my formatting. Bold is memories, _Italics_ are dreams. I'm very into the whole dreaming thing. Let me know what you think about this one as well. **

Chapter 4 : Secretive Severus Snape

"Now that I've seen what war is ... I know that everybody, if one day it should end, ought to ask himself: "And what shall we make of the fallen? Why are they dead?" I wouldn't know what to say. Not now, at any rate. Nor does it seem to me that the others know. Perhaps only dead know, and only for them is the war really over."

CESARE PAVESE, _The House on the Hill_

Severus walked down the empty corridors just as he had while he was briefly the headmaster of Hogwarts. Minerva had obviously informed the teachers of his innocents, because no one had tried to kill him yet. Only he seemed to understand that he wasn't innocent. He watched the walls, occasionally he'd trace a magic scar with the tips of his fingers. They wouldn't last. In a few years the building would be as good as new, well as good as a new castle was. People could never go back, they'd never be the same as before, maybe they'd be better but they would be different. Personally Severus didn't think he'd changed because of the war, his whole life had been a war. The only time he hadn't struggled, the only time he let go and trusted fate to take him, he had been branded and sucked into the dark lords' elite group of death eaters. That was amazingly easy, but it had led to some of the hardest times of his life. Maybe it was his fault for loving the girl who'd shown him kindness when he was a child. She made everything bright and yet she also made everything difficult. Was love meant to be difficult? He didn't notice that he was subconsciously nodding. It wasn't that he suddenly lost the rigid control he'd prided himself on. After all it was a survival skill. But he still had the connection with Hogwarts that had formed when he was headmaster. It gave him some peace of mind. He found he could relax a little now he knew no-one was around. He found himself standing in his usual spot at the top of the astronomy tower. Sometimes when he had been head master he'd felt a surge of anger at the eccentric old wizard that he had trusted. Sometimes he caught himself on the edge of falling after his old friend. That had been a bad year. He turned away from the tempting drop although he already knew he wouldn't jump. He'd already had the chance to die and he hadn't been brave enough to see it through. Death is a very big adventure. He ran his long fingers over the bandage he still wore to hide the scars on his neck. He'd have to get a scarf or something that would draw less attention. Unfortunately he just wasn't keen on facing the general public. That was one of the main reasons he agreed to come back and teach when Minerva had 'asked' him. The other main reason was the Minerva hadn't really asked. Oh she'd said please and listed her reasons mostly they were that it was still dangerous times for young wizards, with so many death eaters still out there. But in the end they both knew that she wasn't asking. He continued walking aimlessly, or so he thought, until he found himself outside the muggle studies classroom. He quickly shut down the memory's that threatened his sanity. But he could still hear her last words, "we were friends Severus". He straightened up, unaware of how he came to be leaning over clutching his chest with one arm and the other rested between his head and the wall. They had been friends. The silly witch had been his friend, why he didn't know but somehow he hadn't managed to stop living completely. When you saw someone everyday and they had intelligent and witty things to say, well it was hard not to find yourself escorting someone like that to where they needed to be. He had liked the damn witch. Professor Charity Burbage had been smart, why did she have to ask him for help when there wasn't anything he could do? He had to make sure that harry didn't get himself killed before he finished off the dark lord. If he couldn't do that he'd have killed Albus Dumbledore, the greatest wizard since Merlin, for nothing. He sighed. Why did she have to still believe in him? Even then she believed that he was good and could somehow save her... or maybe she was tormenting him. Maybe she wanted him to have another life on his conscience. No, she wasn't like that. No, If anything she was just playing her last card and hoping for the best. Severus took a deep breath and headed to the teachers' lounge. If he was lucky Slughorn wouldn't be there. He couldn't stand another pat on the back from the man who "always knew you'd be great Severus, I just knew it." It made him want to throw up. His photo had been at the back of his collection until Minerva had enlightened the staff. He still wanted to know what exactly she had told them, but He'd never ask. He didn't want to have a conversation about it. It sufficed that he knew she knew something, and that she knew he knew she knew. They didn't need to talk about it.

Bill Weasley and his pregnant wife Fleur, were in the staff lounge. Severus took his usual seat in the corner of the room by a bookshelf. He picked a book at random and pretended to read it while he surveyed the room. Old habits die hard. He didn't really care about Bill Weasley or his rather long and exciting c.v. which over qualified him for the position of muggle studies professor, But that was exactly what made it curious. Why would the dare devil take such a boring job? Severus narrowed his eyes at the couple over the top of his book. He was fairly sure Arthur put his son up to watching him. The man just couldn't leave him alone.

**Severus lay in his hospital bed, staring at the ceiling and wishing that he had died. Arthur just wouldn't leave him alone, "Severus you are a hero!" the Excitable red head said, "The Wizarding world should know what really happened."**

"**I'd rather go to Azkaban." Severus replied sourly**

"**Well, that's only because the Ministry of Magic doesn't have the Dementors under control yet, but trust me we've almost got them all back."**

"**I deserve Dementors"**

"**Nonsense." Arthur said dismissively, "it's that sort of talk that made the nurse put those handcuffs on you."**

"**Here, I'll compromise." Severus said as an idea came to him, "You can tell the world my story, if you let me disappear and Convince the ministry I died in this horrid place. We both know I'm no hero unless I die." **

"**I understand, if you really think you can make a new start that way..." Arthur said slowly. He was actually considering it. Severus waited with baited breath, although he seemed as bleak and emotionless as usual. Maybe if he'd shown how tired of the games he had come to be. How running around after people, putting up appearances made him feel sick. Maybe if he'd let Arthur know how much he wanted a different life. Wanted to leave the whole bloody world, move to mars or at least Canada.**

"**No, I'm sorry. I think it would be best if you followed Minerva's advice. Have you thought over her offer?"**

"**I don't want to be around hormonal, opinionated snotty brats who think they know everything."**

**Arthur frowned, "Hogwarts will be the safest place for you and there is no reason that you shouldn't have at least some of your tale made public and verified, maybe with a little more detail to the teachers. You can re-establish yourself."**

**Severus was silent. He really didn't want to talk more than he had to. So after a minute Arthur continued, "Plus Severus, it's best for your health. Poppy can check in on you-"**

"**Enough" Severus snapped which had the desired effect.**

**The red haired wizard stood. "Well I'd best be going. You have a lot to think about." Just before he existed he looked back and added, "There is a muggle saying you might be familiar with, 'You can run, but you can't hide.' Face it Severus, if you did run... well no one can run forever. If you think this is tiring now. Imagine doing it in 5, 10 or even 20 years. "**

Severus Snape didn't notice as his eyes grew heavy and if he had he would have blamed Arthur's dullness and his stupidity, for surly nostalgia was a stupid indulgence for someone like him.

_He stood in the hallways, his second hand robes fell awkwardly on his skinny frame. He was nervous. It was too quite, usually silence preceded someone jumping out at him or a chanting of some revolting rhyme aimed at describing his greasy appearance. _ _It really wasn't something he could help. Oh he never cared at home, but when he knew he was accepted to Hogwarts he'd done his best to hide the mess of his face that his hormones had cursed him with. He'd gotten his skin mostly under control although his hair was hopeless; all that effort and for what? Empty corridors. He looked around again, the light seemed oddly blue. The hallway stretched forward beckoning to him. He took a step forward and suddenly he heard the dark lord's maniacal laughter and the corridor started moving like an escalator. He was moving forward. The chanting started although it was more loose words than sentences: "Greasy Git" and "snivellus". He didn't understand it. Then he felt something tug at him and he looked back to see himself. An Adult, A 2D coloured shadow with a twisted face clawing at the floor trying to get back and there was lily, "lily" They young Severus said as he spotted her at the other end of the corridor. She stood back in the shadows but her red hair flew around her like an eerie halo. "You can't take it back" she said in a voice distorted by years of being nothing more than a memory. "No, Lily" his shadow cried clawing desperately at the floor. He was twisted and broken. The young Severus tried to step away from the mangled image. Laughter started. First it was young and foolish but as he got closer to the ever further end of the dark corridor the laughter became malicious and cackling. Suddenly Alecto and Amycus Carrow where pointing their wands at him. Their skeleton faces only just hidden by the transparent face masks. There smiles painted wide like a clown, their hair was wild like Bellatrix's had been and their white bones showed through their faces. His own twisted flat shadow stood up and tried to stand between them has it shouted "Leave the children" and then the hallway was full of students all as bleak and helpless as himself. His shadow couldn't save them. It had no support and it tumbled to the ground again. The Carrows laughed, "Who wants to see snivellus's underpants?" And suddenly he was hanging in the air, upside down struggling to keep his robe from falling over his head._

"_No-one" Lily laughed, "No-one wants to see his underpants" and then James pulled her close. The Carrows dropped him and he fell heavily to the floor. Everyone seemed so large around him the Carrows were giant, Only Lily and James where in full colour, mocking him with both their laughter and kisses. The rest of the students were bleak and scared. He wandered why and then. "Crucio"_

He screamed and found himself panting on the floor of the teachers' lounge. His heart was racing and Minerva and the Weasleys where kneeling around him and leaning him. "Are you alright?" McGonagall asked, putting a hand on his elbow to help him up. He jerked his arm out of her grip and stood quickly. Ignoring the dizziness it caused him. He fled the room without another word. Embarrassed that he had fallen asleep in the teachers' lounge and that they'd seen him like that.

He didn't stop walking until he got to his class room. He shut the door and leaned against it, still breathing heavily. He sank to his knees and watched the coloured dots in front of his eyes swim and settle, while he clasped his shaking hands together. He took a few deep breaths and whispered, "It's just a dream it doesn't mean anything." A few times. He felt steadier, although he was angry. He shouldn't be reacting like this. If he had reacted like this while working as a double agent he wouldn't have lasted 2 minutes. Maybe that would have been better. He thought as he when through his classroom and into his office. He took a book off the shelf and opened it and took out a bottle of fire whiskey. He'd just have one glass to steady his nerves. Who could blame him for being nervous, tomorrow the school would be overflowing with students and most of them would hate him. Maybe two glasses was justified, but one would be enough. After all he wasn't going to turn into his father.

**A.N. There you go. I'm not a psychologist but I did do a year of social psychology and from what I know of PTSD Severus has it and if he doesn't he certainly has been through enough to justify it. He's not an alcoholic; no I think it's more likely that he's addicted to dreamless sleep potions or something similar. **


	5. Chapter 5 Our Hero, Harry

A**.N. from here on out the chapters will be in more than one point of view, because some scenes will be simultaneous. Also I hope you can all put up with my mixing movie and book references. I like them both. I hope you all like the Alan Rickman photo I doctored as our new story cover. A special thanks to all reviewers for all the support. It means a lot to me. Sorry I haven't been replying, I'm having computer and internet problems on top of college. Let me know if you'd like reply's in the A.N. I can do that if you like. **

**Disclaimer: not only do all these lovely characters belong to J.K Rowling, so does a good part of one paragraph in this chapter. I'm sure you'll find it.**

Chapter 5: Our Hero, Harry

Our lives begin to end  
the minute we become silent  
about things that matter.

~ Martin Luther King ~

"There" Hermione said and turned away from the doors she'd just warded. Harry breathed a sigh of relief and the train continued on its way to Hogwarts. Ginny smiled up at him and leaned against his shoulder. The silly girls were locked out, thank goodness.

"You can't really blame them." Luna said in that sweet airy voice of hers, "This is the only room with a center table."

They all looked at the table for a moment. Then Neville spoke, "Do you think it's …"

Hermione kicked one of the table legs and it certainly made a soft sound. She pointed her wand at it but before she cast the spell the table started to move, and quickly transformed into an annoyed blonde Slytherin.

"What are you doing here Malfoy?" Harry asked, in much softer tone than he would have used any previous years. After all there was so much he hadn't known before, but he was still suspicious of Draco's unexpected presents and he had been hiding as a table. Why?

Draco stood and dusted himself off. He was reluctant to explain himself. After all, he had chosen this room first and he wasn't sure if Luna had been joking when she had said that people where drawn to this room because of the extra furniture… she did understand that everyone was after Harry right? Because if she didn't she wouldn't understand why he was hiding.

Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the loathsome blonde. Her opinion of him hadn't changed. After all who said Malfoy had changed? He certainly made her life difficult. "Well Malfoy?" she demanded.

A muscle under Draco's left eye twitched. He had a feeling that this was going to end the same way it did whenever he broke down…. With him bleeding out on the bathroom floor, well any floor really. Floors were a go to place for him.

"Seriously?" Neville said, "This is getting awkward."

"It was always going to be awkward." Luna said with an eerie smile. She patted the seat on her left, since Neville was on her right, "why don't you sit here and wait for the Wrackspurts to lose interest."

He smiled and sat next to the crazy nymph, for surely her penance for unreal creatures was due to her being one. There was a tentative silence punctuated by Hermione's snort of derision and Ginny's rustling skirts as she nervously shifted in her seat next to Harry. He gingerly put a hand over one of hers.

"I was sorry to hear about your aunt" Luna said and she almost sounded sincere, if such a thing was possible.

Draco let out a barking laugh, "Well I'm not." He shook his head in disbelief, "In fact I'm sure there are many people who feel disappointed that her miserable life wasn't ended by their hands." His face twisted into that same bitter sneer that had, while the dark lord lived, threatened to become a permanent feature.

There was an electric silence, before Neville said, "Yeah I sure wanted to."

Ginny gasped and scolded Neville quickly, "Neville, you can't mean that."

Neville shrugged, "It might be easy for some people to forget or dismiss, but I always hated her and I'm sure if I was able I would have killed her back in the ministry."

Hermione was absent mindedly touching her neck with one hand, but she wasn't brooding over her time at Malfoy Manner with Belatrix. She was barely aware of the thin scar on her neck and she wasn't haunted by the word engraved in her arm. No what was eating at her heart was far simpler. She couldn't believe that Ron wasn't here with them now, back then at the manner she really thought he must be in love with her. Honestly she still thought that she was a bit in love with him. He had cried over her pain; cried for her. Where was he now? What happened to friends in need are friends in deed? She was pulled away from her thoughts when the girl who should be her sister-in-law spoke.

"If you were planning on hiding from all your families' enemies you really chose the wrong compartment." Ginny said.

A slight pink flush spread across his cheeks, "I figured you'd hate me more if you thought I'd been spying on you." He said, "Really I chose this compartment first."

Hermione shrugged in a dejected way, "Well You have a good point and the wars over, you can hide here until we get to Hogwarts."

Everyone looked at her after all she had never liked the blonde.

She shrugged, "Times are changing." She said before adding, "I recon he'll have a hard enough time without our help."

"Wait," Neville said confused, "Are you offering to help him?"

"No." Hermione clarified, "I'm offering a truce."

"Wow," Harry said. His own feelings towards Malfoy had changed rather drastically when they had found Snape during Nagini's attack.

**He followed the blonde Slytherin, through the halls. He couldn't believe the boy had the audacity to show his face in Hogwarts when he had tried to kill Dumbledore just the previous year. But that was why he was following him and not hexing him into oblivion. Because he'd seen it and he knew Malfoy wouldn't have cast the killing curse. So why where they on their way to the shrieking shack and how did Malfoy even know about this passageway? **

"**Draco" Snape said he looked as though he'd been expecting the boy, but there was a certain anxiety in his voice. There was a noise, a soft step and a slither. Snape put his long fingers on Draco's chest and pushed him back into the very hiding place Harry had concealed himself in. Severus cast a quick silencing spell in their direction. **

**Voldemort spoke, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "wondering, wondering, why the Elder Wand refuses to be what it ought to be, refuses to perform as legend says it must perform for its rightful owner … and I think I have the answer."**

**Snape did not speak.**

"**Perhaps you already know it? You are a clever man, after all, Severus. You have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen."**

"**My Lord —"**

"**The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot be truly mine."**

"**My Lord!" Snape protested, raising his wand.**

"**It cannot be any other way," said Voldemort. "I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last."** **Voldemort spoke in Parseltongue.**

"**Kill."**

**As the Dark lord turned away from Severus, who oddly wasn't defending himself beyond the automatic human instincts, Harry and Draco saw the smile on Voldemort face. Harry grabbed Malfoy pulling him backwards by his shoulders. He used the element of surprise to change his position, before the blonde could scream or struggle. They waited, Harry's right hand holding Draco by the waist while his left harshly stifled any noise. Both of their hearts were beating fast as they watched Nagini slither off. Evidently both she and Voldemort were satisfied that Snape would not survive. Draco didn't waist a second. He quickly elbowed harry in the ribs and darted out towards his god father. The memory flower was already forming, "make sure…" Snape gasped, "Make sure Harry gets ...it"**

"**Where is it" Draco said ignoring Snape's last wish, "The antidote, I know you have one." He was holding Snape's bleeding neck with one hand patting the pockets of his robes with the other. Harry Quickly cast a basic healing charm on the Professor, it had little effect but it did slow the bleeding. Draco had found a bottle and was emptying the content into Snape's mouth. Relieved when the man weakly swallowed and turned to Harry, "Send a patronius to McGonagall"**

**Harry's Patronius was weak, but it would do the job. They stood a moment in silence, they'd done what they could.**

"**Well" Draco stood, "He wanted you to have this" They had both reached for the flower and found themselves being assaulted by their Potion masters memories. The strength of Severus's desire to make his motivation known had give the memory's a potency and a determination to be seen. The pensive was not needed for this first, shocking viewing. When They snapped out of it, panting and stunned by everything it had shown. McGonagall was standing over Severus, her healing spells were much more effective. She gave them a wary look, "He's alive but he'll have to go to Saint Mungo's." She said and quickly scooped the flower (which was wilting into the same silver grey substance that memories usually looked liked) into a jar she'd found on Severus's Person. **

"**He's innocent." Harry said, feeling rather bewildered.**

"**He was in love... with... your mother." Draco said disbelief. **

**McGonagall had stared at the boys. She noticed how Draco's face still red and blotchy from crying while they had watched Nagini's attack on Severus. Harry was pale and looked like he was going to be sick. She considered what they said and turned to look at the man she had once taught. He didn't seem so bitter with his eyes closed and his breathing shallow. It made Sense, Lily and all his bitter feelings. Why hadn't she seen it when he was young? **

McGonagall still wandered if this had been a good idea. She was determined to help the man she had once mentored, and there was no doubt that a lot of the students were going to need extra help. She had waited till the last minute to let anyone know her plans. The hall was full and the sorting had just ended. She was standing to make the announcements. She looked back at the staff table and said, "Please welcome Miss Velcross, our new Counsellor."


	6. Chapter 6 Vivacious & Vexing Velcross

**A.N I'm a real ass for not posting this sooner, trust me I've wanted to. Unfortunately I've taken up studying again and it's really demanding. The good news is that I have some wicked new ideas, which I trust you'll enjoy. **

Chapter 6: The Vivacious and Vexing Velcross

"_All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."_ _  
―_ Edgar Allan Poe

Severus lay in bed for a moment and stared at the ceiling. He had been staring at it for about 5 hours. He hadn't known a good night's sleep for as long as he could remember. The thing he wasn't used to was the lack of pain. Sometimes he woke up with a jolt and cold sweat clinging to his brow, his eyes dilated and he'd push back his dark damp hair before anxiously looking around the room in confusion, and collapsing heavily back in his bed. The dreamless sleep potion had been his best friend in those days. He'd even taken some tonight, but it didn't really work anymore. He sighed heavily and raised his left arm up to inspect his now fading dark mark. He sighed and staggered out of bed. There was still over an hour till class started so he stretched and staggered towards his bathroom. He pulled his wand out of its special compartment in his sleeve and placed it by the sink while he ran the bath water. Severus had always been tense, over worked and he had a highly active mind so time had never gone so slowly in his whole life as it had done lately. He pulled off his night clothes and slipped into the sunken bath. "Under the surface, looking up through the distortion of the human psyche." That's probably what the shrink would say. Snape thought as he slipped under the surface of the water. She'd probably say that the water was emotion and that his was distorting his perception of reality or something equally ridiculous. He breathed out and watched his breath bubble up and break the surface. "Psychoanalyse that" He thought with a sneer.

xxx

Ginny walked down the stairs with Harry and Hermione. She stood between them holding Harry's hand and Hermione's arm. She was in high spirits.

"Oh it's so lovely having the school back to its former state." Ginny said.

"I don't know if everyone will feel the same way." Hermione said, "At least it's not quite the same is it?"

Harry nodded sadly, "It can never be the same."

"That's why they have brought this, psychologist. Are they any good?" Ginny asked as they entered the Great hall.

"It's all pseudoscience," Hermione stated and took her seat, "It's as useful as Divination." A paper jet flew over, "Oh our time tables."

Harry who already knew what was to be expected, waited for Hermione's obvious disapproval. Hermione took a deep steadying breath. The year with her parents and new sister had greatly improved her temper. "I," She said in a slightly higher pitched, clipped tone that she used when she was very upset, "Have got to go talk to McGonagall."

In Harry's head Ron's voice echoed "blymie, what's up with her?" Ron had said it so often in the past. Harry looked up at the new school counsellor who was rumoured to be a squib. She looked nice enough with wavy shoulder length blonde hair and spectacles. She must have been in her late thirty's, after all Muggle school studying (especially when further qualifications were added) usually took a great deal more of one's life away.

xxx

Victoria Velcross sat at her desk, in her rather large office. She had no need of a classroom, so she'd used the front classroom area as the actual office. She was very upset. She wasn't used to working in the wizarding world and she found everything awfully disorganised. She'd been trying to make heads or tails of the organisational structure in Hogwarts and was surprised by the number of students who came to talk to her. In the Muggle schools the students generally kept to themselves unless ordered to see her. She thought about the mound of paper work she had to do and she thought about the laptop which wouldn't work in this horrid electricity free castle. It all made her want to cry out in frustration. But that wasn't what was bothering her. Well indirectly it was because she could be trying to fix this, if Severus Snape wasn't wasting her time. She smiled at him and breathed deep calming breaths. She tried to relax and remind herself that even this insipid silence might be helping him. Eventually he would say something and it was important that she was patient and available. She sighed and looked longingly at the clock. 10 minutes left till she was free of the surly man who sat in her old brown leather armchair with his legs crossed and a dower expression on his face. She sighed again. It didn't take a genius to know this wasn't going to work. She'd read his report and spoken to Dumbledore's portrait. So she decided to take a break on this approach. After all it was her first day on the job and she didn't know anyone all thanks to Minerva's insistence that Severus mustn't get wind of the arrangement. She must have had one too many, the night that she had agreed to this scheme. "Listen Severus, I hope you don't mind if I use the last ten minutes of our session for my own benefit." she said rather formally. Severus raised an eyebrow. This sounded like something he could relate to after all when hadn't he dealt with people using him to further their own causes.

"You see…." her words trailed off as she got up and walked through to her smaller office. He heard some shuffling, and silently he moved to the doorway from there he could see the boxes.

He hadn't thought of the difficulties unpacking must be without the use of magic, "You do realise that the house elf's are at your disposal."

Victoria continued rummaging, "I prefer doing things myself." Then she pulled out a small black bag, "Here it is."

"What is it?" He asked

"Only my whole life!" Exclaimed Doctor Velcross, suddenly she seemed full of energy. She'd gone from a dull thirty something to a silly child clutching a toy, "It's my laptop but there isn't any electricity here" she said pushing past him and setting it down on her desk. "And," she continued, "When I switch it on," she switched it on, "this happens" the screen acted like an old TV with a bad signal, the images flickered.

He leaned over and looked at it, "Fascinating" he said. After all he wasn't able to keep up with Muggle technology after he joined the death eaters.

Victoria was not pleased with this remark. She shut down the laptop, "Listen I don't have much battery life and I don't think that it's worth my while getting a generator and an uninterrupted power supply if it's going to do this."

Severus scowled at her obvious disbelief in his abilities, "I'm sure we can figure out something for interference. I managed to do it with a cellphone once, but I don't pretend to keep up with the Muggle world anymore. Professor Flitwick is your best bet."

"Thank you. I'll make sure to ask him."

"I believe our time is up" Severus Snape said secretly amused, and took his leave of her.

Xxx

Hermione Huffed and glanced irritably around the room. "This is unsupportable"

Harry didn't know what to say, he didn't know what was bothering her most. She seemed to think that everything had been done wrong and handled badly. Ginny was trying not to be offended by Hermione's obvious disapproval.

Ginny sighed and said, "Hermione you have to understand that we actually did learn a lot during our sixth year and we passed our OWLs, we have a right to be in seventh year."

Hermione looked surprised, "Oh Ginny. I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I can't imagine all the sixth years are happy about being in the same class as some of the seventh years" She looked pointedly towards Draco Malfoy and his one remaining crony.

Ginny Smiled, "Oh I'm glad. I really felt hurt by how upset you were…"

Hermione cut her off, "Look the only thing I have a problem with is that Professor Snape is still a professor and still permitted to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts, after all the harm he did to the students he was meant to protect."

"He wasn't that bad." Ginny said suddenly sombre, "The others were worse…."

Hermione gave Ginny a look which said "Oh really, don't defend him!" But before she could actually say anything, the door burst open and Snape entered his robes billowing behind him. Magically two words wrote themselves on the board "CONSTANT VIGILANCE" They read.

"Many of you have already had a taste of war, but do not fool yourself. It is not over. War is something that hides deep in people's hearts. It will be waiting, waiting in the shadows, waiting in isolation, waiting for an opportunity to attack." Severus said, his eyes taking stock of the class.

Hermione rolled her eyes and whispered to Harry, "Waiting to change sides and stab us in the back"

"Class, Thank Miss Granger for the 10 points Gryffindor has just lost" Snape said, "If you aren't interested in your own safety at least try to give the others a chance. Miss Granger. There are still Death eaters out there, and they may not believe that the Dark lord is truly gone and even if they do know the truth they may not like it. You are a target" He looked pointedly at the table where Harry, Ginny and Hermione sat, before continuing in his husky, slow, purposeful drawl. "I intend on teaching you all, the most important aspect of Defence Against the Dark Arts: Discernment, because if you do not know who your enemy is you won't see their attack coming."

xxx

_Hermione walked down the corridor, unsure of why Dumbledore had sent her down here. It was dark and dank. She stumbled on the loose earth, but quickly regained her balance, by leaning against the wall. She took a moment to adjust her school robes. Then there was a rumble. Throughout the tunnel earth shook loose. A shiver of foreboding and anticipation ran down her spine. She took a deep breath and continued down the corridor. Eventually she came to a door set in a far more substantial one than the ones that the tunnel consisted of. There was a loud crashing thump and more loose earth tumbled from the ceiling and walls. Startled she darted into the unlocked room and leaned against the door as soon as it was shut. Her fear of a cave in had blinded her to the terror that awaited her. Indeed before she had caught her breath she became aware of the low rumbling sound which came from a creature. A bronze dragon stood in front of her. Its long neck turned to see her. Its black eyes stared pointedly at her. It rubbed it's muzzled on the floor. Then she saw the ropes that bound its mouth shut. She also became aware that it was trying to speak to her. The rumble was almost comprehendible. Was that pleading, in those black eyes? She didn't think it wise to approach the dragon but then it smashed it head against the wall again in a futile attempt to loosen its bindings. Hermione jumped back and sheltered her head with her arms, as little rocks fell about her._

"_Stop that!" She yelled and the bronze beast turned its eyes upon her again. She sighed and took a small step towards the dragon and when it did nothing. She took another step towards it. At this movement the dragon turned away and snorted impatiently. She swallowed and waited for the dragon to proffer its head. When it did she quickly loosened the bounds and then stepped back. The dragon sighed and spoke a simple Thank you. But she had pressed herself against the wall "Snape!" She exclaimed her eyes wide in disbelief and terror. She had been tricked!_

"_Wait" He commanded in that strange voice of his. Hermione found herself pausing, her hand outstretched to the handle of the doo_r.

Hermione woke up with a jolt, not sure what had disturbed her sleep until a paw patted her on the cheek.

"Crooks, you have the worst timing." She said, although she knew that the dream couldn't really have held any answers or any truth. It was probably all Harry's "give Snape a chance" getting into her subconscious. He didn't see the real danger… somewhere deep inside she thought, "or maybe I don't see the real man" but she laughed at that idea. It didn't matter what type of man he was. Even if he had always been good, he had killed, murdered Dumbledore and probably tortured who knows how many people including students at this very school! She sighed and re-positioned crooks, so that she could get back to sleep.

xxxx

**A.N So what do you think? I hope you all liked that, it's not as long as I had hoped but I really wanted to get something up so that you could all see that I haven't forgotten about you and that I won't leave you hanging. PLEASE let me know what you think **


	7. Chapter 7 Falling because of you

**A.N Sorry this is a ridiculously short chapter. I have exams this November and I'm taking part in NaNoWriMo. I promise this story will continue as soon as I hit 50 000 words. Please R and R. **

Chapter 7: falling because of you

"_We're not excusing the ones who are mean, but I want girls to understand the psychology. It's not in everyone. But the bully needs to put this pain somewhere. "__  
_- Elizabeth Berkley _  
_

Draco couldn't help it; it was something about her lips. She always seemed to be smiling slightly. Her eyes had no place for sorrow but sometimes when she said something particularly strange they'd gain something akin to a haunted look. Right now they were bright as she demonstrated _Homenum Revelio,_which quickly revealed Neville. Luna smiled at Neville who was not so pleased that his method of concealing himself had failed. Especially since professor Snape was looking at them with disapproval. Draco sighed, He wouldn't mind if she found him and smiled like that. Luckily his daydreaming had gone unnoticed. He was well hidden, the other students hadn't done badly at their Disillusionment Charms but they didn't have the right idea, they didn't hide as well, it was surprising that Neville hadn't been the first to be discovered. He watched his godfather as he, with more patients than pleasantness, showed Neville a better method of concealment. Draco almost snorted at the helpless look on Neville's face.

**-XXX-**

An evil glint shone in Hermione's brown eyes, and she parted her lips to show her teeth in the way a Vampiress might before sinking them into her prey. Luckily she was still well hidden and unfortunately for Snape she was close enough to hear every word he said. She listened from her seat on the window sill. She couldn't let him get away with this cruelty on top of everything else that he'd put some of these very students through. In fact most of them were probably terrified despite the fact that they were well hidden. No he wouldn't get away.

**-XXX-**

Snape felt frustrated. They didn't get it. Maybe they couldn't get it. Inwardly Snape groaned as Lovegood revealed Longbottom it didn't matter that she was uncannily good at finding people. Longbottom was one of the obvious targets. He didn't need to keep his ear to the ground to know that. He stepped forward and glared at the boy as though that would burn the information into his brain,

"a pitiful display Longbottom" Snape drawled, "How you survived the war is beyond me. In fact I'm surprised you haven't won a Darwin Award yet. Thank god you were born in the wizard world or surely rotating doors would have ended your pathetic existence"

The boy looked down a blush creeping across his face. Snape hardened his heart to this display of emotion. Long ago he might have been able to relate to the feelings Longbottom was experiencing. But by the time he was Neville's age these had become nothing more than displays of weakness. He glared at Neville because he knew his message wasn't getting through,

"in the future try to cast a spell more appropriate to your surroundings."

With this he turned and instead of moving forward he started falling. His eyes went wide as the adrenaline raced through his system. Time seemed to slow down as he fell. He was barely aware of the smoke he conjured and the disillusionment charm he cast. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was fuming, the teacher in him was indignant and angry. But it wasn't his foremost thoughts. No in front of his eyes the only other time he had fallen replayed itself. His neck hurt. Dizzy spots swam in front of his eyes, as they did in his almost last moments. He heard the laughing, death eaters laughing. No rest for the wicked. His demons wore bone masks. He aimed his wand, but the nagging feeling that this wasn't real, this couldn't be happening was strengthen by the voices. The voices were wrong. It was Malfoy, but it was Draco not his father and he wasn't laughing. There was also a girl. Her voice was protective, but slightly whiny and she was definitely on the defensive. He had to think for a moment to place her. The smoke he had conjured was dissipating slowly. He saw the siluette of her bushy hair and saw the finger she pointed at his god son. He smirked the little know it all was being scolded by Draco. Reality swam back into focus, colour returned and the demons that had been threatening him sank back into the shadows. He pulled himself to his feet. So she had tripped him.


	8. Chapter 8 Because of you I fell

A.N. **Hi all. This chapter was harder to write than I thought and turned out to be longer and have less happen than I planned. I hope you like it. I also hope that no one's too ooc. **

**Please R and R, constructive criticism is welcome. Just don't be too harsh.**

Chapter 8: because of you I fell

"_No one truly knows what they will do in a certain situation until they are actually in it. It's very easy to judge someone else's actions by what you assume your own would be, if you were in their shoes. But we only know what we THINK we would do, not what we WOULD do." _  
― Ashly Lorenzana

Draco forgot all of his pleasant musings the instant it happened. His instincts were what had him looking for the culprit and not watching the spot where his godfather had disappeared. It was an excellent example of what they should be learning in this lesson but the significance was lost on Draco. His temper flared and he scowled. His pretty face twisted into the sour look he'd worn in his misguided youth. In three short steps he banished his disillusionment spell and was gripping Hermione firmly by her upper arm. "Brightest witch of this age my ass!" Draco sneered before demanding, "What the bloody hell were you thinking?"  
Hermione's eyes had gone wide with emotion as she found herself being roughly led out of the class. She found herself unable to resist, maybe her own actions had stunned her or more likely it was because of the commanding manner which Draco suddenly possessed and the familiarity he claimed. As soon as the door was closed and she'd been released her sense of indignation returned full force "What was _I_ thinking?" she said emphasising the "I", "What was I thinking!" she sounded a little hysterical now, "what are _you_ thinking?" she asked but it wasn't a question in her mind it was obvious he hadn't been thinking. She quickly continued, "Can't you see how twisted this all is? Who in their right mind lets a man teach the children he's tortured?"  
"There you are Hermione" Harry said as he slipped outside. He didn't really want to get involved but he couldn't just leave them to fight it out.  
"You have no right to judge my godfather! You have no idea..." Draco said trying to keep his voice low.  
"No idea!" Hermione yelled, "How dare you presume to ... AArgh! You're nothing but a horrid bully yourself. Punching you was one of the best things I ever did! You are all the same, all of you think you are so superior and that one good deed erases all the horrible things you've done. Think about poor Neville! Why the hell should he have to be picked on like that? His spell worked and everyone knows Luna's ..."  
Hermione didn't notice the way Draco's eyes widened at the mention of Luna's name. As though the very thought of her sent a bullet through his brain. No it was the quite voice that startled her.  
"So that's what you think of me is it?" Neville interrupted, "You don't see me at all do you?"

Hermione spun around. Her lips fell apart at the sight of him angry.

"Tell me was I always just the fat cheeked chubby kid with funny teeth and no skill in potions?" the indignation in his voice was clear, but the hurt expression in his brown eyes was what drove the stake home.  
"No Neville, I never meant it like that! This is unfair on everyone."  
Neville shook his head and she fell silent, "Look at me. I'm not just that pudgy kid who's clumsy and forgets everything anymore."  
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes… ashamed she blinked them away. She knew that he was tall and handsome with a sturdy build and a 12 o'clock shadow that lent him a very manly presents. How had she forgotten that? What was worse was the way his eyes were appraising her. He always had such expressive eyes, now his disappointment was clear.  
"You're a good friend Hermione. I liked you."

She swallowed hard and reached out, "So?" She asked, "So I defended you, that doesn't mean that I'm not seeing you for who you are." Somehow as soon she had spoken the words, they seemed wrong, anything would have been better than that.

Neville didn't reply, just gave her one of his lopsided, lingering smiles and went back inside the class room. Hermione felt like she'd been punched in the stomach. Harry and Draco shared a look, which was pleading of Harry's side and stony on Draco's. Hermione couldn't tell who won, but the moment that harry moved forward and put a hand on her shoulder, the moment he gently squeezed. She knew she couldn't handle it, whatever it was. Then Harry was leaving as well. Draco had won.

"I don't have to put up with your verbal abuse." She said quickly putting her hands on her hips and raising one eyebrow, challenging him to continue.

Draco frowned at her. He wasn't satisfied with how things were transpiring. Not only had he failed to make his point, but he was also unsure of how to do so now. He had also been awakened to a possibility that hadn't occurred to him before. Luna might not have a heart open for him to win. Oh he'd been satisfied just looking at her before but now he realized that she had a very attractive male friend he suddenly knew he wanted her to think of Neville as a pudgy puppy.

"No, I have no intention of 'verbally abusing you'. I want you to remember what I'm about to say and for it to echo around in your head until it hits a nerve and makes you change."

Hermione snorted, keeping up the indignant and tough act.

"So why don't you run off and think about what your little boyfriend said, and know that he's not the only one you've been wrong about. Circumstances change people and clever people change circumstances, but that always comes with a high price. Snape has paid that price, he doesn't need some self-righteous little 'war heroine' dealing out her own 'justice' when she doesn't even have half the facts." Draco ran his hand over his face after giving his little speech. It wasn't difficult to say when she looked like an indignant lion that just ate something sour. But he felt drained all the same. The anger that had motivated him had dissipated and all there was to do was to leave and hope this kind of thing didn't happen too often.

Snape had felt his heart burn with furious indignation and maybe a touch of anticipation as he snuck outside. But the show that awaited him was more than he could have imagined. That girl was so stubborn. The way she clung to her believes and refused to listen to reason (although he was very glad that no real details of what he had lived through had been shared.) The thing that made his blood burn like ice though was her obvious lack of feeling. He'd have expected more from a girl of strong loyalties. Wasn't she Neville's good friend? He'd have expected whining and pleading. Did she really consider herself as nothing more than Neville's tutor? Dare she think of herself as his Hero? Lily's name nagged at the back of his mind but he shut it out before any comparisons could rear there awful heads. Then it happened. Just after Draco left. Her head fell into her hands, and she shook silently. Severus smiled, Pleased, yes that was what he had expected. Her tears made the world right. He never expected it, but Neville really had grown up well. Maybe Hermione was the first in line to have her heart broken? It wasn't romantic, but being told off like that could hurt. But then she stood straight and her face wasn't red at all, there were no tear streaks down her cheeks. He felt his heart grow hard. How could she put the years of ignoring that poor boy behind her so quickly? He thought and for a moment he contemplated Legimencey. No. he'd leave her. After all he had a whole class of miscreants to set straight. Miss granger would have to be made an example of. He turned to open the door, still under his disillusionment charm. When he heard the sharp clipped noise of a woman's shoes briskly moving away. He spun around. Where did she think she was going? He briefly considered calling out to her, but he hadn't survived as a spy by acting rashly. As he followed her down the hall he couldn't help but think about how he had never met anyone who learnt a lesson from their mistakes, but then again most of his friends hadn't lived to learn from them. All the while, he had one ear listening out for anything out of the ordinary and his eyes, very seldom left the present moment. He couldn't help but sometimes, since coming back from the hospital, falling into the security of his connection with the castle. He watched her as she slowed down, and came to lean against the wall behind a statue. He watched as she cried and wondered what punishment she deserved. He didn't think of it in a sadistic way. It was just something he did. When someone had done something wrong he punished them. So she may be crying now, but girls were feeble minded. He thought as she sunk to her knees and sniffed. Her crying had already slowed considerably and she started to hiccup ungracefully. He frowned and wondered if he really did have the right idea….

"There you are" Ginny said and before Snape knew what was happening the red haired Weasley girl had knelt in front of her friend. How had she snuck up on them?

"I'm such a fool" Hermione said after a rather large sniff, "I never meant to hurt Neville. I just thought that …"

"Well listen don't worry about it. I'm sure Neville will forgive you."

"I just don't understand…"

Ginny smiled and lent Hermione a hand up, "He doesn't need any help anymore Hermione, well I mean you might still have to keep an eye on him in potions."

Hermione emitted something between a laugh and a cry, "Oh he'll be fine now Snape's not teaching potions anymore."

Snape's eye twitched to hear that. He thought of the golden trio, Hermione had always at least been respectful.

"I guess the war must have instilled some courage into Neville." Hermione said softly, as they started to walk again, "He always used to be terrified of Snape."

Ginny gave Hermione a bemused look, "And you always used to call him professor Snape and correct us to the nth degree. What happened there?"

Now Hermione did laugh, one bitter ha of a laugh, "Oh how can you ask such a thing? Back then everyone could have been wrong about him. I always thought that He might just be misunderstood" she shrugged, "I don't know why but I always made excuses for his behaviour." Hermione swallowed before whispering, "But there is no excuse for murder."

"But Hermione, have you not heard the full story?" Ginny asked.

Hermione shook her head, "I don't see how it'll change anything."

"Well those of us who do know, even just the little scraps Harry or Draco feed us. We can appreciate what he's been through and sacrificed for us…. Hermione He's had a hard life."

Hermione snorted, "Don't even bother. I'm not going to buy into whatever c*** and b*** story he's been feeding everyone."

Snape fumed. And turned briskly on his heal. Like he'd want anyone to know! His mild whirled around possible punishments and eventually he thought up one that would really get to that stubborn little brat.


	9. Chapter 9: Deception

A.N. I would like to say a special thanks to my reviews. Hope Leslie Hermnharry and Moi (Guest)

To Moi:

I really think that some of what you said was very insightful and reminded me of what I was trying to say. In fact after reading your review I thought I'd been a bit too mild with Hermione's resentment of the Malfoy's! In the last chapter at least. I can't really say more here because I don't want to give anything away. Any little changes or aspects I've blown in or out of proportion are to lead as into this alternative future with Snape and Hermione.

Chapter 9: Deception

"_The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation." _  
― Cheryl Hughes

Ron woke up and blinked. His head hurt. He stared at ceiling and squinted. It wasn't his ceiling. He felt something warm against his neck and turned slowly to see what had coursed it. Long blonde hair obscured her features but he knew that pert little upturned nose. She had found him again. He lifted the blanket and almost whistled at the sweet little number lying naked against his body. Instead of feeling euphoric he felt nauseous. His stomach pinched tight as he remembered Hermione. He never should have been away from her for so long. He carefully extricated himself from the sleepy hold of the beautiful young woman. Yet again he thought that this was the end the last time, it would never happen again. He'd write to Hermione. He just needed to see her. He swung a blue satin dressing robe over his shoulder and fastened it around his waist. He'd just make a nice rich breakfast and go on his way, but this time he'd make sure that Eleanor knew it was goodbye for good.

"Hey handsome" the blonde daemon said from his bed. Her golden hair fell gently around her face in long wispy strands that ended around her deliciously naked breasts. Oh why had she let the sheets fall down like that? Couldn't she be bashful like Hermione? She always clutched them to her chest in the morning, like a fallen angel. Ron grinned, unsure of which image pleased him more… until Eleanor stepped out from his cotton sheets.

xXx

"Argh," Snape groaned and pressed the ice pack, he'd charmed last night, to his head. It was a tolerable splitting pain as long as he didn't move. he turned his head to check the time, 10am, the slight movement started up the torment again. It was as though someone had put a chisel against the splitting pain and was pounding a pinging drum tune on it with a sleigh hammer. Earlier he had withstood it long enough to try get changed for class. He'd never felt nauseous from a normal headache before. Was all this suffering from trying to occlude a bad dream? He'd never even had to try before, well maybe when his mother first started teaching him. But he was a natural. He was also late, if he could just get to his dressing table where some of his stronger, more experimental potions were. He'd tried summing them but they just wobbled in their place. "I won't be beaten by a headache!" he growled, successfully frightening the bottle into motion. He caught the bottle and quickly downed the content. He sighed as a wave of relief washed over him. The pain was diminished, but still lingering. Unfortunately his relief didn't last. As he got up and pulled on one of his new shirts (they had looser collars that wouldn't rub against his scar) he wondered over how effected by the headache he had been. He had endured far worse in the past and nothing he had experienced so far had any effect on his magic. He'd have to book a check-up at saint Mungos. It never crossed his mind that it might have been psychological, because for the first time in years, after the bad dream he had occluded, he had slept well and had the most wonderful dream. He had dreamed that he had slept with his head in the lap of a red haired angel. He wasn't sure what it was he'd been feeling but it made him smile in a way he'd never smiled before. He glanced at his clock, which was similar to Mrs Weasleys except that each hand was one of his classes and the clock only worked when the students were in the classroom. it simply measured the mood of the class. right now the appropriate hand was swinging between anxious and bored. 10:15, he had kept them waiting. He made a low humming sound in his throat. No matter how indisposed he always made sure to enter through the hall doors. And so he straightened his neck tie and disillusioned himself.

xXx

Hermione sat nervously playing with her hands. 10 minutes ago she had been ready to face anything. Now she half jumped out of her skin as the door flew open and Professor Snape entered with his cloak billowing. He stopped at front of the classroom and turned to face the class. His face was as stoic as ever. "Today's lesson is on banshees. I want a 6 inch essay comparing them to their underwater cousin. Focus on..." Hermione had stopped listening. Something was different about Snape. At first she thought it was the billow. It seemed a little forced and wind in his cloaks seemed a little false, there was too much wind for the amount if movement. Then she thought it might be that he was wearing something that looked suspiciously like a cravat. But no it was more than that. It was something in his voice. It was as droll as ever, and it conveyed all the displeasure a voice could hold but somehow it seemed less snide. It was a little less purposeful. Then realized what it was. He was leaning on the desk, it wasn't obvious. His long fingers seemed to be taking the tiniest amount more weight. Next thing she knew people around her were standing and leaving. Surprised by her own in attendance she stood to leave. "Where do you think you are going, miss granger."

Shapes voice drifted across her consciousness like the low rumble of a thundercloud promising lightening.  
Hermione was well aware of the threatening storm. Snape's lips twitched at the corners when he noticed her shoulder tensed behind those frivolous curls. He waited for her to respond fully aware that she had been day dreaming.  
"Um." She muttered turning to face him.  
"What's this?" He asked watching her eyes for any trace of emotions. "have I caught the eloquent miss Granger at a loss for words?"  
This surprised Hermione further into silence. She was almost sure that he was teasing her.  
"Hum, this is very serious indeed" he drawled.  
Hermione was about to attempt a reply when his long fingers were wrapped around her forearm and she found herself being forcefully but inconspicuously lead down the corridor. Suddenly a panic seized her, "where are you taking me?" She demanded.  
"Oh so you can speak." Snape intoned. Not bothering to look at her. She briefly thought that there was something sinister about the way he had trapped her into this situation. Pretending to tease her like that! She wanted to call for help but something about the way he could steer her with no more than his fingers put her under his spell. Soon enough the stopped and he knocked on a door she wasn't familiar with. Yet she sighed with relief at the prospect of company. The door opened revealing a figure in an oversized checked shirt. Hermione frowned.  
"Ah Severus" Dumbledore's portrait said from the desk it was propped up against, "you are early."  
Snape didn't deign to reply.  
Victoria turned around, her cell phone was pressed to her ear, and she held up a finger indicating that she just needed a moment. "mhum, yes." she said and listened. " you two have to stop trying to out act each other and admit that it isn't all acting" "yes, ha, I know Mandy, good luck with that and let me know how it goes. Sorry. I have to go I've got a client here." "bye, bye"  
Vicky looked guilty as she flicked her phone shut and run her hands self-consciously down the front of checkered shirt, "don't look at me like that Severus." She said in her overly familiar manner which sent Hermione's eyebrows shooting up to meet her hair line. She glanced up at the professor and realised what it was that gave his face expression.  
His coal coloured eyes where the source of his humanity. It wasn't their colour that did it though, well not exactly, people could easily put their own spin on what they saw in his eye colour and what he wanted people to see was a lacklustre black. In reality it was the micro expressions that lived at the corners of his features, his eyebrows, eyes and mouth. But it could be argued that persons with strong magic could give strong impressions by nothing more than the intensity of their gaze.  
Hermione suspected Miss or doctor Velcross would subscribe to her later theory. The woman seemed a little unhinged. That's when Hermione became aware of 4 points of pressure between her shoulders pushing her forwards into the room. Vicky suddenly looked displeased, she crosses her arms over her chest and stated bullets at Snape, "can I speak to you in my back room for a moment?" She asked.

Snape made a low noise in his throat, "Miss Velcross this is miss Hermione Granger. I'm sure you've heard of her."

Vicky sighed relaxed her form and extended her had to Hermione and found herself shaking it. "Explain yourself Snape" the psychologist said in a tone of impatience.

"Miss Granger will be serving her detention with you." He told them both and before any objections could be made and had reached around and grabbed Hermione's wrist. In two quick movements a watch had been slipped onto her wrist and an enchantment placed on it. Hermione's cheeks where red with indignation and she let out an exclamation of "I never" when he gave a cloak to Vicky. He was explaining to her in a low tone how she could set Hermione's detention time and how it was a magical inhibitor. "I do think it would be a good idea to enchant the whole room in such a way." He continued.

"I'm not going to injure myself by assuming that you're doing this for me. What is it that miss granger has done to offend you?"

He turned to leave, "I'm sorry I'm needed elsewhere. I'm sure the little villain will be happy to fill you in." And with that said he left in a rush of swirling robes.

Hermione just stood where she was while Vicky turned away to pick up the portrait of Albus. "Well what did you think of that?" She asked while placing the portrait near the corner wall behind her desk. Albus smiled at her. "Well?" She prompted turning towards Hermione.

"Oh, you're talking to me?" Hermione said and suddenly felt like she had been unfrozen.

"Well who else would I be talking to?"

The portrait cleared his throat meaningfully. Vicky made a dismissive gesture and walked over to a couch which she neatly plopped herself down in. "Sit, sit and excuse my attire. I wasn't expecting company till lunch and now I believe I find myself free for the day"

"I have another class in 20 minutes."

"Well then you have 20 minutes to figure out how this watch works."

"Didn't Snape tell you?"

Vicky shrugged, "I got distracted"

xXx

As he left he wondered at the tension in her shoulders. He flexed his fingers. For a moment the warmth from her back had surprised him. Had he really not touched anyone for that long? No Narcissa had held his hand in the hospital. But her hands where soft and cool. Hermione's back had been warm as though she'd been sunbathing just before. He frowned. She had hated his touch. That would have pulled at his heart strings, but they'd all snapped years ago. Just loose nerve endings remained, which caused random bouts of pain and misery. But. He flexed his fingers. He had a backup torture for the impertinent brat now. However he felt a wave of doubt wash over him. He always had known that he could make people feel uncomfortable with his presents. How to manipulate his aura maybe he was taking this too far? Somewhere deep down he realized that he had dealt with enough rejection. Was it worth it? It was one thing to make her flinch but to know that he was repulsive. He came to a stop outside the transformation class room and knock on the door.

"Come in" McGonagall called and as the door opened she peered over the brim of her glasses "argh Severus"

"I need the day off." He said and as his billowing cloaks came to a stop He took the corners and folded them in as he folded his arms. McGonagall was almost distracted by his battle pose which made him look like a bat folding its wings. She never really noticed that before. The cravat really didn't help. No wonder some of the students thought he was a vampire. "A day off" she repeated as the request sunk in, "what on earth for?"

"I've always been accustomed to leniency in my schedule-"

McGonagall cut him off, "it's never been a whole day."

For once in his life no convenient lies came to mind. Life had no strong universal purpose now.

"I received a call from my uncle"

"A call?"

"Yes. On my cell phone."

"Really and it works here?"

"I was checking out the charms I used on it in when I was a student here. To help Victoria"

"And your uncle called." McGonagall leaned back in her chair, "what a coincidence"

"Yes."

There was a short silence in which neither moved. The stillness in the air was rather cool.

"And you need a day off because"

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. He thought of all the angles he could swing, but in the front of his brain there was noise like a game show buzzer when you get the answer wrong. On top of it all the headache was threatening again. It was so persist.

"He's ill. Might be nothing but he's worried."

"Oh" Minerva said surprised by how forthcoming he was being, "I didn't know you were close." She said hesitantly.

"we aren't. I haven't seen him in 16 years but the coincidence was so strong..."

"So you're suspicious?"

He answered with one slowly drawled word, "Naturally"

xXx

Ron sat at his kitchen table in his flat. He'd written a dozen times. Said a million things and every time he'd thrown it all away. This time he'd send whatever he wrote. He promised himself that much.

"_Dearest_ _Hermione_

_I'm sorry I didn't contact you sooner. You must think that I'm really awful. The truth is I even after I realised that you hadn't received my letters, when you were in Australia, I was upset with you for not writing to me. I know that you were probably very busy and I know that I've probably not been supportive enough. But now you are back at Hogwarts hopefully you'll be able to find time to reply? Maybe we can keep in touch? I'd like to know what's going on in my girlfriend's life. Maybe I can even see you once in a while? Please next hogsmead let's get together. _

_Love Ron"_


	10. Chapter 10: Perception

**A.N. I didn't originally plan on this story being so continuous, but I am enjoying writing this way. Hope you like it too. I could have made this chapter longer, but then I wouldn't be able to post it so soon **** besides I started studying again this week. I'll try get another 2 chapters out this month though. While things are still quite. I'm having trouble with the formatting. **

**Thanks to the 3 guests who reviewed chapter 9 and also thanks to our new followers. It really makes me happy to know that other people enjoy this twisted little after war Hogwarts I'm toying with.**

**Disclaimer: None of the harry potter world belongs to me, not even the holidays. It's all J. **

Chapter 10: Perception

_PI: "there was no truth until you dug it up" ..._ _  
Dr. House: "you know stuff exists even__when you can't see it" ..._ _  
PI: "it wasn't a truth that mattered to him, it wasn't a truth that mattered to her, why was it a truth that mattered to you?" ..._ _  
Dr. House: " first of all stop saying 'a truth' there is only one truth" ...__  
__PI: "that might be true to you"_

Dr. House S5E3

Hermione couldn't focus on the letters scrawled in chalk on the black board. There was simply too much steam streaming from her ears. Her Ancient Rune's professor actually thought she was seeing that vexing woman in a professional capacity! She didn't know what was worse, the idea that Professor Bathsheda Babbling thought that she needed psychological help or that she thought that Doctor Velcross was capable of giving any. All because she'd been late for once in her life!

xXx How she was late. xXx

"Distracted? How could you be distracted!" Hermione complained, "He was standing right in front of you. I saw you nodding at him." She also couldn't help but notice how Velcross's eyes had glazed over and she had started to play with the pendant of her necklace. The psychologist smiled and shrugged, "Oh you know how it is when a tall, dark and handsome man stands a little too close to you and then to feel his warm breath against your cheek." Vicky sat down on her fainting couch, "He smelt like cinnamon and …" her face changed as she continued, it was as though she was going into a reverie "mistletoe berries and possibly unicorn hair, or Lacewing flies ." "Why?" Hermione asked, "I mean I know it's none of my business but how can you like a man like that?"  
"Hum, a man like what deary?" Velcross asked although she was evidently still deep in thought.  
"a greasy git" Hermione said briskly, "he's killed and tortured people."  
Velcross rouses herself from her tender musings. Hermione blushed when she heard what Velcross said next it was a single word that had infuriated Hermione. " interesting," Velcross said while standing and walking over to the clock, "so does his appearance bothers you as much as what you perceive to be his crime? Or would you say that over the years you just can't disassociate that description from him? Or maybe..."  
"Oh great I'm stuck in the room with a Freudian! Everything boils down to sex right?" Hermione said while throwing her arms up in defeat.  
"No, I'm not. If I was I'd be more interested in Mr potters relationship with miss Wesley. Ah now come here I think I figured this out." Velcross gestured to the hands on the clock face, "I think I'm meant to set your detention time between these two red hands." "what if you're wrong?" Hermione asked. Velcross shrugged and continued setting the clock, "I think I'm right. As far as I know the watch will act like a buzzer when it's detention time. I'm sure if it doesn't work properly Professor Snape can fix it for you." "It's a magic inhibitor, I need to be able to use magic in my classes." "I'm sure you'll be fine. You can leave now." Doctor Velcross said, and waited till Hermione was at the door before calling to her, "Oh, Miss Granger. I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with your professor." Hermione gave the shrink a sceptical look, "I won't tell anyone."

xXx

"I'm so glad to see you." the medical wizard said when he spotted Severus, "although I wasn't expecting you... is anything the matter?"  
"ah, John you told me to check in with you." Severus said, it was twisting the truth a little and it was taking advantage of the medi-wizards poor memory.  
"oh I did? yes that's right, but we don't actually have an appointment right?"  
"No, not per say. I was stopping by and I thought now is as good a time as any."  
"oh right, right. Your here to see your grandmother. How silly of me." the medi-wizard, John smacked his forehead as he said this last part. and started walking out the door passed Severus obviously expecting the younger man to follow, "I'll show you to her room and then give you that check-up after my scheduled appointment."  
Severus muttered a half-hearted word of thanks before falling back into silence. He didn't have a clue what John was babbling on about but he was confident that he would soon know everything.  
"I must say I'm rather surprised you choose to come. The way the old Lady spoke made it seem like you weren't on speaking terms. She was actually worried that she'd died without getting a reply to her letters. I told her you weren't as bad as all that."  
Severus stalked after the good doctor, silent and sullen. So he was going to see Grandma Prince. So the old hag lived. He thought as John pushed open the door to a private room. She lay in bed propped up against the pillows. She was thin, he could make out the details on her bones and her skin was so pale and translucent it looked blue in comparison to the crisp white of the pillow. Despite all of this there was a vitality in her dark eyes that made him think that she was still far from death. His feet moved him towards her automatically but when he reached the edge of the bed he remembered himself and looked down his nose at her.  
"Ah my boy, come closer so I can see you properly" she said theatrically in her cracking voice. she raising one week arm towards him, but her strength failed and she let the arm drop sooner than she meant to.  
"What do you want you old hag?" Severus hissed with no compassion, " I have no money and no beauty nor youth for you to steal."  
"I'm happy in the knowledge that I was beautiful, thank you very much! That's more than you can ever say." She huffed, "and I don't need money where I'm going."  
"Why doesn't the devil take bribes?" Severus hissed.  
The old woman glared at him, " sit down you ungrateful chit"  
"Why should I you old hag? Why should I sit by your side when you are dying when you were never there when your own daughter needed you most?"  
"Silly child, your mother was a stubborn and hot headed girl. Even after she run off with that good-for-nothing Muggle..."  
"Shut up!" Severus snapped, "don't think that's an excuse. You abandoned us!"  
The woman shifted in the bed as a wave of pain washed over her. She clutched her side and wheezed. Severus just stood there and glared at her. A house elf neatly popped into existence by her side and pressed an oxygen mask to her face. The elf glared at Severus while mutter under its breath. In a moment she dismissed it.  
"I tried to talk to your mother, but even when your father didn't want her he wouldn't let me have my baby girl back."  
"Like you couldn't just take her!"  
"Oh that's rich, coming from you." She snapped but quickly added, "Your mother didn't want to leave Tobias. He was a clever bastard and she had never been a confident girl. Besides, she hated my husband and didn't want him in her baby boy's life."  
Snape remained quiet. He was surprised by how badly he wanted to hear everything. Just a moment ago he hadn't cared if his grandmother had lived or died. The elderly woman perfectly understood his silence. Her face softened, "Come now, pull up a seat and I'll tell you everything."

xXx

Vicky lay on her fainting couch and thought carefully about her impromptu meeting with miss Granger. The girl was obviously on edge and her intense dislike of Severus was very evident. In a way she was glad that she had played along with his game, but she felt that she hadn't made it clear enough that she didn't have romantic feeling towards Severus. She'd never been good at setting people straight, she was always too interested in their reactions. Well Snape was going to have a fit if a rumour got started. Well it was his fault...  
"Make that girl squirm and I'll talk to your damn portrait." That's what Severus had whispered in her ear. The incredulous look in Hermione's eyes while he'd said it had told her just how to do it. She barely needed to coax the girl's suspicions. Now however Vicky wasn't so sure if she should have played along with Severus because he was playing with her as well. She only realized it while teasing Hermione, but Severus was obviously taking something. She didn't need a wand to know what mistletoe berry's and unicorn horn where good for. They were in a good number of cures , and if Lacewing flies where in it. . . .If she was any good at her job, she'd be right when she bet that they were home brewed. Problem was right now he didn't have full access to the potions labs, but he probably still had his personal ingredient store. She frowned. Potions Master was the best position for the old snake. She'd have to speak to Minerva, and Bill. Why should he waste his talents in Muggle studies? She wandered and walked her to her desk. She'd speak to him when he came by later with news about her laptop. Flitwick he been a real treasure with his advice, but he just didn't have the time to play with it. So he'd recommend that George take a look at it. Apparently the Weasley twins had had a knack for that sort of thing. She remembered the look that past over the Charms professors face. Poor George. She thought and pulled open her desk draw. She stroked her fingers over the wand and it lay still although she thought that it might have reverberated at her touch. She quickly shut the draw again and stood, hurried over to the door and grabbed her coat. Why should bill have to come to her, when she had two feet that worked perfectly well.

xXx

Harry leaned over to try make out the writing on the letter Hermione was reading. "Who's it from 'Mione?" He asked when he really couldn't tell. She beamed up at him, "It's from Ron." She couldn't help but smile at Ginny who smiled back at her before giving Harry's arm a little squeeze. "So what does it say?" Harry asked. "Oh, nothing much." Hermione blinked, "it's just that he actually wrote. Here read it," she said passing it to Ginny. Ginny's smile faltered as she read it. it didn't say much in her brother's favour. All wishy washy and why didn't he just write sooner? She thought, but she couldn't say that to Hermione. She was too eager for things to work out between them after all. And Hermione looked happy. "He wants to see me." Hermione said, "When is the next hogsmead weekend?"


	11. Chapter 11: Dear Doctor

**A.N. Hey guys. I just wanted to say don't worry about all the questions I'm pulling up. I don't intent on making you wait forever for the answers ****, but I'm quite moody so you never know. I also just wanted to add that the reason I've been able to update so quickly is because I've been writing on my cell phone and emailing bits to myself :P**

Chapter 11: Dear Doctor

"_Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.__**"**__  
_**- **Martin Luther King, Jr.

Snape walked through the hospital halls. He couldn't think about everything the grandmother he had never known had told him. Tonight. He thought, that he could think about it tonight. His nose itched and he swallowed hard. He took a deep breath and raised his hand to open the medi-wizards room door. But he just stared at it. His grandmother had squeezed his hand with her frail but warm one and asked him something he had never imagined to hear. He'd hated all the time he'd had when he had first regained consciousness in St Mungo's but right now he needed it. He needed what he hated most. Free time. To sit with nothing to distract him from everything he didn't want to think about. That's how he'd become friends with John. John had been a convenient distraction and reminded him a little of Charity. With both of them he had shared, what he could only imagine was what people described as, an easy friendship. Some people were just so casual and easy going that they fell into your life just by being themselves and letting you be. John was one of those people, but he had a nervous energy which seemed to consume him at times, yet it never involved Severus. In fact it made Severus feel like a big heavy rock in the middle of a bubbling brook. Maybe in different circumstances they wouldn't have fallen into such a friendship. But Severus he'd been unable to refuse company. He'd been handcuffed to a bed after all. Lying there feeling weak and sick and his mind was racing around uselessly trying to fix itself on something current. He was sure that he was going to lose his mind if he didn't use it. The first week had been the hardest, he'd always been the best as Occlumency and the walls were easy to keep up but keeping his mind blank when there was no great nor terrible wizard with legilimency trying to catch a stray thought and there was nothing else to distract him. It was difficult especially since sleep was no reprieve. One morning he woke up and medi-wizard John was sitting on the chair the guests usually occupied with his long legs sprawled out in front of him and a newspaper covering his face. Snape instantly knew it wasn't anyone he'd ever met before. He was a stickler for details after all. He'd cleared his throat loudly and the man almost jumped out of his skin. He looked around frantically spotted Severus and had the decency to look a bit embarrassed, "I am sorry to be caught napping, Mr…." He'd said and although he continued to explain himself he didn't express any repentance, "I was just taking my lunch break"  
"I see." Severus said in a tone designed to seem disinterested and instil discomfort. But then his boredom got the better of him and he said, "and you enjoy the company of untried criminals?"  
John seemed amused by that and his reply was just as interesting to Snape despite its simplicity. "Yes, it's the only way. If I stay in the staff room the nurses constantly bother me and I have no time to read the paper." John had said.  
"Yes I noticed that you're an avid supporter of the Daily Prophet." He eyed the newspaper jealously. For some reason his subscription didn't deliver to St. Mungo's and he hadn't wanted to ask the Malfoys, they were already to familiar with him and expected to much from their friendship, they'd even made him Draco's godfather and they'd always known how he disliked family.

"I actually read it already." John said and passed the paper to Snape. Page 4 read:

"_**Severus Snape OUR SNAKE IN THE GRASS - AQUITED"**_

That had been a shock Snape hadn't been prepared for. His eyes where dark, but the Healer noticed how they dilated and how Severus hands trembled. He got up from his seat to call his healer.

"No, it's nothing." Snape said quickly stopping the medi-Wizard. He'd skimmed over the article and seen that nothing personal had been revealed. It was in fact more a statement of the fact. His memories had been verified but they were still his own. John had frowned at the man and checked his vitals, "You know yourself very well." John had observed as he sat back down.

"Yet I don't know your name?"

"John Scott Walter."

"Severus Snape."

xXx

Severus almost jumped out of his skin when the brass door knob that had hypnotised him into that reverie turned and the very medi-wizard in question almost walked into him. Luckily the door opened inwards or it would have smacked Snape in the face, and his nose was crooked enough as it was. "You've been standing there for ten minutes." John informed him and turned away to walk back to his desk, "Come in and sit on the bed."

Snape obeyed it was confidence and authority of the medical professional that he heard and respected.

"I want to check your old wounds, if you don't mind"

"The medi-witch who treated me before said they were fine when she released me"

John shot Severus a stiff look, "You probably scared her socks off. Curse wounds are more dangerous than that and you know it. They're like cancer, they may just sit there like a scar but they're really just lying dormant until something triggers them. So strip of that shirt of yours, buddy."

Severus scowled but he did as he was told because he knew the truth of it. Snape shrugged out of his outer robe and started loosening his cravat.

"I've been looking over your medical history. There are some large gaps?" John said.

"Occupational hazard." Severus said simply as if that would explain everything away. He started undoing the black buttons on his black waist coat, He wore it because it looked good with the cravat and gave the same effect over the black long sleeve shirt as the potion master jacket had and he couldn't wear that now that he taught Defence Against the Dark Arts. Not that anyone seemed to have noticed what he wore. That was the beauty of black.

"Yes, well luckily I'm very good at my job" John continued and glanced over the file at Snape, "Man how many layers are you wearing?" He asked when the waist coat came off and Severus started on unbuttoning the shirt. Severus just gave him a dirty look, "Just one more. A vest, is that alright doctor? Am I allowed to wear a vest?"

John cocked his head to one side, "Doctor?" he was curious now, "A Muggle physician?"

Severus was surprised by his mistake, "Minerva hired a Squib Psychologist to annoy me."

"That seems like a smart move to me… Not the annoying you bit. But I imagine that it's helpful to the students. There is something very reassuring about talking to someone who has made an oath."

"What do you mean?" Snape asked.

"I'm talking about doctor patient confidentiality. You must have known that anything you say to her in your sessions can't be repeated, why else would you have spoken to her?"

"I haven't spoken to her. It's a waste of time." Snape said. He had known that she had said she wouldn't tell anyone, but making an oath was a different story. Not that it changed anything. He thought while he pulled off his grey vest. In a second John was poking and prodding. Severus winced , "I think I preferred the medi-witch." He tried to relax so that he would react to the pain. It was difficult. He was too used to not expressing it.

"Because she was too terrified to touch you." John stated, "These are nowhere near as healed as they should be. Why did you come here again?"

"Debilitating headache." Snape snarled. He didn't like feeling like a piece of meat. He'd never liked being touched. It was almost always painful. His hand flexed as if to remind him that not everyone had hard hands or cruel intentions, his grandmother's hand been gentle, despite how sharp her tongue had been when they first met.

He breathed in deeply as a shock rocked through his body and dots swarmed his vision. John drew back and moved to look into his eyes. He muttered "_Lumos_" and moved the wand slowly in front of Snape's eyes. Snape growled, "Can't you just cast a magical diagnosis and be done with it?"

"If I did that, I wouldn't be the best healer at St. Mungo's now would I?" John said and wordlessly cancelled the lumos. John smiled, in a way that made Snape feel violent, the deep cool anger buried deep in his heart. But after taking a deep breath the burning feeling melted away.

John cast the diagnostic charm and he didn't like what he saw. He didn't like what he saw without the coloured air shining around parts of Severus's scars. None of his wounds were festering, but they weren't healing well. The knitted together flesh on his back was still pink and raw and in some cases over older curst scars. He didn't become the best in his field by sticking to convention and believing everything he was told or only what he was told. Someone had been adventurous enough to try a bit of old fashioned black magic on Severus. John rubbed his eyebrows, "What did you treat this one with" He poked the old unhealed bruises. Severus didn't reply, so obviously it was his own concoction. He could help with those and the minor curses, but the unforgivables would always be there. The neck wound was particularly worry to John, even though it looked better than some of the others, the magic diagnosis was bad. A snake bite on its own was bad, living horcrux bit was impossible to know. Severus had also lost weight since he'd been released from the hospital, but he was looking a bit more muscular. So working out and not eating enough. "How are you enjoying being Defence Against the Dark Arts professor?" John asked while wondering if there was faintest chance that he could inspect Severus's legs. He decided against it. The magical diagnosis didn't really point to anything worse that the slash or two.

"They don't take anything seriously" Severus said.

"Why don't you take of your shirt some time? That'll make a point."

"I don't like being made an example of" Severus said in tone that lowered the temperature of the room. John winced at his stupidity, obviously that's how he got most of these scars. To try and lighten the mood while he tried a few different spells, John asked as jovially as he could manage, "So did you know someone was trying to do voodoo on you?"

Severus nodded and John observed the sparks the diagnostic spell made around his neck. "Bellatrix developed a liking for it during her time in Azkaban. She claims that she thought it was Sirius hair."

"Do you believe that?" John asked and added, "Mind doing some basic magic for me?"

Severus took out his wand and cast a few basic spells while answering, "I'm sure she had a separate doll for him."

John didn't really hear his reply though, "do you mind Appariting to the other side of the room?"

Severus looked up sharply and caught the calculating look in John's eye.

"Its okay" John said with a forced but teasing smile, "I'm right here if you splinch I'll put you back together."

Severus Snape snorted, "I won't splinch myself, I didn't even on my first time." With that said he apparated safely to the other side of the room. But John was frowning now.

"How did it go with your grandmother?" John asked as he counter acted the diagnosis charms.

Severus felt the hairs on the back of his neck hackling and his stomach suddenly felt queasy, "It was fine. Listen just tell me what's wrong."

John shook his head, "lots of things are wrong, lots of little things and they are interfering with the big problem."

Snape's eyes grew cold and he prepared himself for the one thing he was sure he could never live with.

"I can heal most of them, I'll give you a script for some potions and recipe's for others."

"What about my magic?" Snape demanded.

John rubbed his eyebrows, "Its fine you aren't going to lose it."

For second Snape felt relieved, "but then what is it."

"You still have to use it as little as possible and apparition is out of the question."

"Why?" Severus asked, and tried to keep from shaking.

John shook his head and Severus wanted to shake John, "You aren't going to run out of magic or lose it or anything like that but the wound in your neck is doing something its interfering. Until it's healed I don't want you doing magic."

"But it's a curse wound."

"Not exactly" John Smiled at Severus, "Put on your cloths and go accept your grandmothers offer you need a house elf. I'll write to McGonagall and tell her you can teach Defence Against the Dark Arts."

"I'd rather she didn't know about this."

"You can't teach such a magical subject….."

"I'll find my own way back to the potions class room. Minerva and I already have an agreement that as soon as she finds a replacement for Defence I can have my old position back."

"I'll write you letter just in case." John said walking over to his desk.

Snape snorted, "Now I'm going to have a damn house elf following me around."


End file.
